Tippety Tip Tip

A lot of you waiters and waitresses out there are probably going to hate this post....

....but not as much as I hate the idea of tipping. 

Now, I don’t “hate” tipping, just the idea of it. Every time you go to a restaurant, you’re expected to leave a tip in addition to paying your bill. Once upon a time it was 10%. What is it now? 15%? 20? Whatever the amount, I think it’s ridiculous. Back in the day a tip was only rewarded to those who provided above and beyond service, and by people who had the extra bucks to leave a little extra somethin’ somethin’. 

It seems that nowadays you HAVE to tip whether the service is great, good, or terrible. You wouldn’t believe how many times I hear “Wow, that was the worst service I’ve ever had. She’s only getting a 5% tip from me”.

If the service was bad, THEN WHY WOULD YOU TIP AT ALL???? That doesn’t make any sense.

I know that at some bars and restaurants, if the people you serve don’t leave you a tip, then you (the waiter/waitress) have to pay out of your own pocket. I sincerely think that shouldn’t be allowed, but I question people who agree to work at places with such outrageous terms. Your tip at the end of the night is a bonus; something you get in addition to your regular pay. Bonuses are rewarded for going the extra mile. Not for carrying out the duties of your job description that you’re already expected/paid to do. 

You know what’s worse than feeling obligated to tip, or having someone you're dining with add money to your tip because they felt it was too small an amount? Having the tip automatically added onto your bill! I was at a restaurant with some friend last week, and the establishment added a 25% tip onto the total of my bill. Ridiculous! Then while I was paying with debit, the machine had the nerve to ask me to punch in how much of a tip I wanted to leave. Seriously? I have to tip 50% now? Don’t they know I’m a poor student who’s just lucky enough to enjoy a meal out? Does this mean I have to intentionally order a cheap meal so I have enough money left in my wallet for a tip?

The bigger question is, why is it that waiters, waitress, and bartenders are the only people we tip?

I work in a plus size clothing store, and a few months ago an 11 year old girl came in with her dad to buy some new clothes for school. She was really shy at first, and told me she didn’t quite fit in at school because all of the other girls had nicer clothes. I felt for her, and spent the next two hours picking out clothes she would look adorable in. By the end of it, we were laughing and having a great time as she strut her stuff across the store in pieces of her new wardrobe. Her and her dad continuously thanked me for my time and help, and assured me they’d be back. They were about to leave the store, but before they reached the door, the girl came back and gave me a hug and thanked me one last time. 

They didn’t offer me a tip, nor did I expect one. I spent more time with this customer than I do with most customers, and put tons more thought into the garments I was picking out, because I know what it’s like to be an 11 year old girl; I knew this shopping trip was important to her. 

My point is, I didn’t go “above and beyond” in hopes of getting a tip. I did it because it was something I wanted to do, and hey, it’s the job I get paid for. 

I’m not saying I’m going to stop tipping (it’s “socially acceptable” dontcha know) and I’m not saying that you should stop tipping. But maybe you should consider also tipping the teachers giving your kids an education, or the nurse who makes sure you’re comfortable in your hospital bed at night, or the people behind the phones at 311 who get yelled at everyday by people asking silly questions all day. 

If you’re going to tip one group of workers, why not tip ‘em all?

My 600 Pound Life...

...is what I watched earlier this evening after I came home from the gym. It was airing on TLC and was followed by, My Half-Ton Mom, and Obese and Pregnant. Apparently TLC runs their programming in themes.

I’ve heard about the show before, and have seen clips previously, but I’ve never sat down and watched an entire episode. The one I decided to watch today was 2 hours long. It featured a woman who was once over 600 pounds, who underwent a number of surgeries to remove fat and skin from her body. She went from being over 600 pounds, to being 157 pounds. By the end of her weight loss she was definitely smaller, but had a lot of loose skin hanging from all areas of her body. Even with surgery, you can only loose so much excess skin.

The reason I sat and watched the entire episode is because there was one point where she got down to the exact same weight as myself, but still looked pretty big. 

She and I definitely have different body types, and because she weighed hundreds of pounds more prior to being my current weight, our bodies looked very different. But it got me wondering...am I big enough to be on one of these shows?

Once she got to my weight, she still had a ways to go. 

I’ve been a big girl ever since I was a kid. I was always bigger than my friends, and usually wasn’t able to have that fun childhood experience of wearing each other’s clothes. My weight bothered me every once in a while, but it never seemed like too big a deal (no pun intended). 

Although I was overweight, I always had a big group of friends, and was usually pretty active. I was on the volleyball team, the badminton team, and loved to play intramural basketball at lunch time. I did hate running laps in gym though, but most kids did. Being overweight never stopped me from doing what I wanted to do, and living a normal life. On T.V. and in movies they always had the character of the “typical fat girl eating lunch in the bathroom, no friends, and getting bullied,” ...that wasn’t me. And I wasn’t going to let that be me. A boy or two would make a rude comment here and there, but I dished it right back out in record time, and they stopped. Nice try boys. But Charmaine doesn’t play those games. You’ll have to try it on someone else (but it’d be better if you didn’t).

My point is, I’ve always been a bigger girl, and for the most part, I’ve been comfortable with it. Maybe even too comfortable. When I look into the mirror I don’t see a “fat girl.” I would never call myself fat. I see a voluptuous young woman with great curves, a body in proportion, and booty that looks fabulous in a pair of jeans with bedazzled back pockets. I’m not afraid to wear a short dress, a tank top, or a bathing suit at the beach. 

What I am afraid of is having a heart attack, or having a blood pressure so high that no amount of medication will fix it. I’m afraid of not living long enough to develop a career, get married, buy my first house, or have kids. I'd hate to deprive the world of my adorable offspring. 

It’s great that I’m comfortable and confident enough in myself to look this way, but I need to take care of my health. I was born with a heart murmur, which is fairly common, but it’s something that usually goes away into early adolescence. My doctor said it’s something we can look into, but only after I lose weight. Last year I dislocated my knee and called an ambulance because no one was home, and I couldn’t move. When they came (they were cute by the way) they took my blood pressure and it was 210 over...some number. Anyway, it was scary high and when I got to the hospital, they were more concerned with my blood pressure than with my knee. I was more concerned with walking, but hey, I’m no doctor.

I’m taking two medications for my blood pressure and it is going down, which is good. But do I want to be taking medications the rest of my life? The only thing that will permanently bring it down is a healthy weight-loss. It’s been 24 years and if I want to live for 76 more (I plan on living until 100), it’s time for a change. I don’t want to get up to 600 pounds, I don’t want to have fat and skin surgically removed from my body, and most importantly, I don’t want to die today. I’m too young, too funny, and have too much to live for.

 I mean, I haven’t even met Zac Efron yet. 

Seriously....look at him...

My future husband

Photography Page

Just in case you missed it, I've added a photography page to my blog. Be sure to check it out regularly for photographic updates.

Quite the Conundrum

I’m willing to bet we’ve all had the same problem...can’t get a job without experience, can’t get experience without a job. Someone somewhere is going to have to change this one day. 

I had a job interview earlier this week, and I was excited for it because this time it was a job in communications. The position called for a summer student to handle media/community relations, sponsorships, and odds and ends here and there. The company was looking for a student (who would be returning to school in the fall) to work full time during the summer months, and hopefully onto part time when classes resumed.

I felt as though the interview went well, and the interviewer seemed to be really engaged with my portfolio. By the end of it, I was rather confident that I had a fighting chance to land the position. But unfortunately, it was a no go. I was told in an email that my interview went really well, and that there was clearly a lot I could contribute to the company, but that they had decided to go with a candidate with more experience.

More experience? 

This troubled me for two reasons. 

1.       Because the position specifically called for student applicants, there is a strong chance the majority of applicants are going to have a limited amount of experience related to the position

2.       I was told that the company had interviewed other CreComm students for the position, and chances are, we all have around the same types of experience (probably the exact same)

Aside from the fact that I really want a communications job this summer, the result of this interview has gotten me worried for when it’s graduation time, and my fellow classmates (and friends) are applying for the same jobs, having had the same experiences. As I’m sure most CreCommers do, I would love to have a job landed before I graduate, and I’m scared that it’s not going to happen. The program does have a rather high success rate, but with any graduating class, there is always someone who’s going to fall by the wayside.

I don’t want to be that person!

Award-Winning Journalist?

It appears that this future PR maven just so happens to be an award-winning journalist. 

Okay, that sounded a bit cocky. 

Let’s try again...

It just so happens that this PR student won an award for an article she wrote for Undressed Winnipeg magazine.  

Better?

At the magazine fair held at Red River last month, awards were given to different magazine groups for things like best booth, best overall magazine, etc. I was both happy and shy to hear that I received an honourable mention for best magazine article. This isn’t a category that is normally apart of the judging process, which is why I was especially honoured to receive it. 

Honourable Mention Prize

My article was about a young woman’s cultural experiences between sex in Somalia, versus sex in Winnipeg. It dips into topics of virginity, sexual norms, and female circumcision. 

Prior to the magazine fair, I had entered this article to be the possible recipient of an Eric and Jack Wells Foundation award of $500. The awards were presented during our weekly first-year seminar, a week or two after the fair. 

A few friends of mine were certain I was going to win, but there were over 30 amazing submissions; it was really anybody’s game. But to my surprise, I somehow managed to snag one of the awards. If you don’t believe I didn’t see it coming, just think back to my “thank-you speech” I gave when I received my cheque. I was definitely caught off guard. 

I’ve been promising people that I would post this article on my blog, and the time has finally come. Although I have permission from the young woman I interviewed to disclose her full name, I have decided to take her name out of the article, and change it to the most generic name I can think of...Jane Smith. 

*If you would like a FREE PDF of Undressed Winnipeg Magazine, feel free to provide me with your email

Somalia to Winnipeg

A Young Woman’s Cultural & Sexual Experience

Jane Smith moved to Winnipeg from Ethiopia 10 years ago when she was 13. She grew up in a Muslim community and respected many of the different traditions of her culture, some of which may seem bizarre to some Canadians. After moving to Winnipeg she was surprised about often women here openly talk about sex.

“Where I’m from, sex wasn’t talked about, and it wasn’t really a pleasurable experience for women,” said Jane. 

In Somalia, sex is not something meant for women to enjoy. Girls as young as three are circumcised to ensure they don’t have sex before they’re married to someone their family has chosen for them; these marriages usually happen once a girl turns 13. In many Canadian elementary schools, kids learn about sex from their teachers, and are encouraged to have “the talk” with their parents. For Jane, the circumcision was “the talk.” Her parents didn’t talk about what sex meant in their community, it was just something that was understood. Girls knew that having sex after they’ve had the procedure would be painful, and therefore would want to put off the experience.

“As soon as the cut happens, you know the sex isn’t going to be pleasurable.”

There are between 8-12 different types of circumcisions a girl can have in Somalia, and the type she gets depends on what tribe she’s from. Although this procedure can happen to girls as young as three, it mainly depends on when the girl develops enough room for the doctor to cut and sew the right spots around the vagina. Jane was four when it happened to her. 

“I was excited to get it done before I actually got down there. It happens to every female and they make it exciting. My sister who was three at the time went before me on the same day, and so having her there made it even more exciting. We were becoming women.”

While some people view this procedure as a rite of passage, others view it as violence against women, as it can sometimes lead to death. “Often performed without anesthetic under septic conditions by lay practitioners with little or no knowledge of human anatomy or medicine, female circumcision can cause death or permanent health problems as well as severe pain. Despite these grave risks, its practitioners look on it as an integral part of their cultural and ethnic identity, and some perceive it as a religious obligation,” Frances A. Althaus, executive director of International Perspectives on Sexual and Reproductive Health. (http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/journals/2313097.html) 

Sex for the first time can often hurt for girls. But having sex years after you’ve been circumcised can hurt twice as much. Not only does the penis need to enter the vagina for the first time, but it needs to penetrate through stitches that have been in place for quite a while. 

Boys in Somalia also get circumcised, but it’s a different feeling for them than it is for girls. 

“We get circumcised too but it’s just a little cut for us, which actually makes us get more easily aroused, if that makes sense.  It actually kind of makes the penis work better in a way,” said Yohanise Gabraeyasuse, a University of Manitoba student. 

When Jane came to Winnipeg, she avoided having sex but not because she wanted to wait until she was married. Although she does follow different Muslim traditions, she considers herself to be a free spirit and only engages in traditions that make sense to her. Jane’s mother died when she was seven, but had told Jane she wouldn’t force her to marry someone she wasn’t comfortable with. Her parents believed in their traditions, but also wanted their kids to be happy. 

“I wasn’t really avoiding having sex before marriage. I just wanted to wait until I had a stable job with reasonable income, in case I got pregnant. I didn’t want to be foolish.” 

Although Jane doesn’t feel that she has achieved long-term employment, she is considering having sex for the first time with her boyfriend whom she’s been dating for a couple of months, providing things continue to go well in their relationship. Even though she uses the word “boyfriend,” she’s reluctant to use that label because she doesn’t want to make things seem too official.

“I don’t want a serious relationship; I do want to meet different people. But just because I want to have a good time, doesn’t mean I’m going to start sleeping with every man I meet.” 

Despite the fact that Jane is still a virgin, she has recently tried to have sex. Because it was her first attempt she was scared for what would happen. She didn’t know how much it would hurt, how it would feel, or if it was even possible for her to enjoy herself. When it got down to the penetration part of the experience, she felt a bit of pain and was afraid that feeling was only leading to further discomfort. So they both decided to stop and wait for another moment where she felt more prepared. 

“I don’t want to expect something to be enjoyable but then go through the painful experience and never get the pleasure that everyone talks about.”

Jane knows there’s more to the overall sexual experience than just intercourse. When asked if she’s engaged in any other activity in which other parts of her body were aroused, or if she had done anything to stimulate her partner, she starts to giggle.

“I tried to do the whole oral thing. Tried and failed. It was too big. My mouth is too small apparently. I didn’t know how to do it so I ended up just scrapping his penis with my teeth.”

The giggles continue.

“I don’t want to say that I’m in a rush to have sex. I mean, I definitely want to have sex before I die a virgin. There’s just that feeling there that you want to fulfill so it’s natural for me to want to satisfy those urges.”

Best Dressed Male & Female of the 2012 CCMAs

Last night was the Creative Communications Media Awards, and I extend big CONGRATULATIONS to all the first and second year award recipients. I’m especially proud of the cute and quirky Kyle Jahns who won the Good Guy (or Gal) award, as it was well deserved. If anyone else had won, there would’ve been a definite uproar I’m sure. 

I would like to give out an award for the Best Dressed Male & Female CreComm student of the evening. The best dressed male was a first year student, soon to be a valuable member of the advertising field. He wore a swanky medium-grey suit, with a black dress shirt underneath. The lack of tie didn’t hurt the ensemble; in fact, it made it look better...chic and casual I’d say. Unfortunately I don’t have a picture of the strapping young gentleman...but most of you probably saw him last night.

The award for Best Dressed Male goes to....

KELLY MCGUINNESS! 

*Kelly also won best print ad for his Big Rock beer ad. Good job!

The award Best Dressed Female also goes to a first year student. Heads turned as she walked into the room, struttin’ her stuff in a sexy but modest, orange laced dress. Not everyone can pull of orange, but this brown-haired beauty did it flawlessly as the compliments continued to flow her way throughout the evening. 

The award for Best Dressed Female goes to.....

 LAINA HUGHES

 *Laina and myself shall be partners in crime as we tackle the life of PR students, next year!

Runner-up for Best Dressed Female is Chantal Verrier, who sported a sexy black dress, which had one strap going across the chest, and two going across the back. Her ensemble was completed with a beautiful silver necklace that was surely one of the main focal points of the evening. Absolutely stunning!

Looking forward to the Glitz N’ Glam the 2013 CCMAs will bring out next year. It will be the 10^th anniversary of the event, and I’m sure Josh and Liz have tons of goodies planned!

CreComm Finale

April 20^th, 2011 at 11am marked the date and time I officially finished my first year of Creative Communications. It has been a long year, yet a short year; I’m sure my fellow crecommers understand what I mean by that. I’ve met so many interesting people in the last year, and made some really great new friends. 

I’ve been in university for a few years leading up to CreComm, but never really understood how different college would be. It wasn’t just the college atmosphere that was different, but the CreComm program is especially unique. To be honest, I don’t understand why anyone would want to do anything else. I’ve learned more this year than I had anticipated, and had a ton of new experiences. Here’s 10 of them, just off the top of my head. 

1.       Attended a city council meeting

2.       Filmed and edited a video montage

3.       Created a magazine from the ground up

4.       Met Peter Mansbridge

5.       Directed a talk show

6.       Hung out with Hugh McFadyen and the PC party on election night

7.       Live-tweeted a 3 -day long event

8.       Wrote a screenplay

9.       Received a $500 award for “best” print journalism

10.   Spent Remembrance Day with Canadian artillery gunners

It’ll be exciting to see what the second year of the program has to offer, but I’m already anticipating these five things:

1.       Shooting and editing a short film

2.       Doing stand-up comedy

3.       Organizing a news conference

4.       Hosting a Red Dress Gala & Fashion Show

5.       Learning more about photography 

I’ve been in school as long as I can remember, and I’m both scared and excited to what it’s like to have it all come to an end as I leap into a grown-up job (more excited than scared).  But for now, what I’m really looking forward to is tomorrow night's Creative Communications Media Awards (CCMAs) at Republic Nightclub; can’t wait to get all dolled up!